


Mystery Gang

by alba17



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ghosts, Halloween, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-31
Updated: 2012-10-31
Packaged: 2017-11-17 11:16:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/550964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alba17/pseuds/alba17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Gwaine bribes him to go on a mysterious errand, Merlin gets more than the blowjob and a beer he bargained for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mystery Gang

**Author's Note:**

> Written for merlingwainebar's Halloween contest and beta'd by the lovely jelazakazone. Inspired by image #5.

[ ](http://s522.photobucket.com/albums/w341/alba8613/?action=view&current=spooky-graveyardl.jpg)

“This is it. The Old St. Albans Burying Ground.” Gwaine double-checked the map on his phone. “Yep. Right on target. Let’s hope Uther doesn’t find us before we’ve done the deed.”

Merlin rolled his eyes for the hundredth time that night, then hopped over the low iron fence into the ancient cemetery. It was straight out of a scene from _Supernatural_ ; the fog was so thick, Merlin could barely see where they were going. A prickly sensation crept up the back of his neck as they walked through the old gravestones that tilted out of the earth at odd angles. The street lights faded away into darkness and bare black branches arched overhead. A moldering church loomed beyond the graves; undoubtedly quaint in daylight, it had a menacing air in the cold, dank gloom.

This was all Percy’s fault. _He_ was the one Uther’s ghost had a thing for, according to Gwaine, but he’d bailed at the last minute in favor of marathoning Scooby Doo on Cartoon Network, leaving Merlin and Gwaine to do their best imitation of the Mystery Gang. Merlin wouldn’t have been here but for Gwaine’s promise of a blowjob and a beer later in his van. The van was Gwaine’s pride and joy, a perfect seventies replica down to the shag rug and a built-in cooler in the back. For Gwaine’s consummate oral skills, Merlin could humour his superstitions for an evening.

Gwaine had stopped to scan the surroundings with his torch and Merlin, distracted by thoughts of the man and his tongue, ran smack into him. “Shit. This fog is unreal,” Merlin said, clinging to Gwaine’s waist just for a human connection.

“I know,” said Gwaine. “This torch isn’t much better than a match in this pea soup. Figures Uther’d pick somewhere incredibly creepy for his final resting place. Where do you think his grave is?”

Of course _if he’d been here_ , Arthur could have told them which one it was, but he was out of town and had missed the entire haunting incident. Typical. Arthur was always unavailable at crucial moments, the slacker.

“Probably that big one over there, don’t you think?” Merlin pointed to an imposing statue of an angel with its face in its hands. “Wow, weird. A weeping angel. Guess Uther wasn’t a Doctor Who fan.”

“Yeah, guess not.” Gwaine swept the feeble torch light around the rows of gravestones. The caw of a bird high up in a tree sawed through the night air like a blade. Merlin jumped. “Or maybe he _was_ ,” Gwaine said suggestively. “Perhaps we’d better keep an eye on that angel.”

“What?” Merlin squawked.

Gwaine laughed. “I’m just kidding!”

“Hey, you’re the one who believes in this mumbo jumbo. I’m just here for my reward.”

“Which I will happily give you, my friend, as soon as this is over. Relax.” Gwaine pulled out a crumpled sheet of paper from his jeans pocket. “You got everything, right?”

“Think so.” Merlin peered into the sack he held. “Weird assortment of things though. Did you really need a dead frog?” It had been easy enough to get since Merlin worked in a lab, although sneaking it out in his rucksack had been gross.

“It’s just what that woman...what was her name? Morgan? Morgana? something like that.. told me. Crazy old biddy, but Mordred swears she knows what she’s talking about.”

“Whatever. Let’s get it over with.” This place was downright morbid. Gwaine had better give him a damn good blow job when this was over. “You’re really going to owe me for this, Gwaine. Percy too. Why’d Uther have to pick him, anyway?”

“Don’t know. If anyone, you’d think it’d be me. He never did like me.”

They paused at the foot of the grave, looking up at the sinister angel. After realising he was staring at the statue and carefully not blinking, Merlin forced himself to look away because _none of this was real_. The angel wasn’t going to step down from its pedestal like a creature from Doctor Who just because he blinked. This was real life, damn it. There was no ghost of Uther haunting Percy. He was doing a favour for Gwaine, that was all, and he’d be delightfully compensated shortly, with any luck, safe and sound in Gwaine’s ridiculous, albeit warm and cozy, van.

A dog barked nearby, probably from the residential cul-de-sac that backed up on the cemetery, and Merlin found himself gripping Gwaine’s arm. “Good lord, this place is creepy. Okay, what’s first?”

“The salt, I think.”

Digging up the grave was out of the question. The old crone had given them detailed instructions, complete with a Latin chant, that she swore would put Uther’s soul to rest without such extreme measures. There was a good story here somewhere, if they survived to tell it. Merlin pulled out the little bag of salt, the small vial of holy water and the squishy plastic bag of frog corpse, along with miscellaneous herbs. Following the instructions, they circled Uther’s gravestone once, twice, then once again, laying down a circle of salt. All the while, Merlin imagined Uther’s white face floating out of the darkness, invisible hands grabbing at his clothes, or worse. He knew it was all ridiculous -- Percy probably was just having a spate of indigestion or over-imbibing of coffee -- but his heart thumped excitedly and he kept imagining he saw shadowy figures flitting between the graves.

Next was the frog.

“I’m not doing it,” Merlin said.

“Hey, you’re the one who works in a lab. You’re supposed to be good at science-y things,” Gwaine countered.

“This hardly counts as science, Gwaine. Rather the opposite.”

Gwaine held up the frog and grimaced. “This better work. I can’t take a 6 foot 5 inch giant invading my bed every night any more. My bed’s not big enough. Besides, I need my beauty sleep.”

“What?” Jealousy flared through Merlin at the thought of Percy’s ridiculously fit body in intimate proximity to Gwaine. He couldn’t compete on that level. Not that he wanted a ‘relationship’ with Gwaine; he wasn’t crazy. Gwaine had a reputation, well-deserved, as a bit of a slag and a commitment-phobe to boot. Fuck buddies, was how Merlin saw it, nothing more. Just...something rankled at the idea of Gwaine getting all ‘buddy-like’ with Percy. Merlin was getting rather fond of those blowjobs and he didn’t care for the idea of sharing. Which really should have made him nervous.

“Nothing happened, Merlin. God.” Gwaine graced him with a brief kiss on the lips. “You’re still my favourite, scrawny as you are.”

“I’ve been working out, I’ll have you know.” Merlin puffed himself out.

“I know you have and I appreciate it, sweets, but you have to admit...I mean...,” he gestured, “Percy...you.” He cocked an eyebrow.

“Well, I’m the wiry type.”

Gwaine looked him up and down with a lascivious smirk. “Exactly. Which is what I like about you. Percy’s a fine bloke but I’ll take somebody who I can actually get my arms around. Plus...well, I like you, Merlin. I know I’m not the best at saying it.”

Merlin could feel himself blushing. Thank god for the darkness. “Yeah?”

Gwaine pulled him in and kissed the side of his face. “Yeah.”

Embarrassed, Merlin grabbed Gwaine’s hips and turned him so he could give Gwaine a full, deep kiss in lieu of words. “Careful. I might start thinking you fancy me.”

“Lord, no. I just need a partner in crime.”

“Ha bloody ha.” Merlin smacked Gwaine on the arse. “So what do we have to do with the frog?”

“It says drive a stake through it at the foot of the grave.”

“Really? I thought that was for vampires. Are there vampire frogs? I mean, there are vampire bats, who ever heard of vampire amphibians?”

“I don’t know, Merlin, stop babbling, that’s what the woman said. Let’s just do it.”

“Ookay then.” Merlin blew out a breath and rummaged around in the bag to find the the knife. “Personally I always thought Uther was more like a hawk than a frog, but whatever. Give me the frog.”

They dispatched the frog with impressive efficiency. Using the latex gloves he’d brought from work, Merlin laid out the frog on the ground in front of the monument with clinical precision, then he made Gwaine give the poor thing the coup de grace with the knife. There was a satisfying squelching sound as it pierced through the lifeless mass.

They both stood there in slightly breathless anticipation. Nothing happened. It was a bit anti-climactic.

“I think there’s one more thing to do,” Gwaine said, looking at the instructions again. “It says to splash holy water on the top of the angel.”

They both looked up. The angel had to be a good twelve feet high. The Pendragons spared no expense in honouring their dead.

“Time to show off your climbing skills, sweetheart,” Gwaine said.

“Why me?”

“You’re taller, longer reach. More nimble.” Gwaine gave him a bright smile and tossed his hair out of his eyes in a way guaranteed to make Merlin slightly weak-kneed.

Which of course, it did. Merlin rolled his eyes - again. “All right. Jeesh. But only if...um...you know....Let me just put it this way, there’s gotta be more in this for me than a blow job. You got condoms and lube in the van?”

Gwaine spread his arms and looked up to the sky.

“Yeah, dumb question.” Merlin said. “So, is it a deal?”

“Darling, I thought you’d never ask.”

The night was starting to look up. They just had to get through this ridiculous ritual.

Gwaine handed Merlin the vial of holy water and he stuck it in his pocket, then gritted his teeth and hoisted himself up on the pedestal. If the ghost of Uther hadn’t already been roaming the earth giving Percy a hard time, he’d be rolling in his grave right now, what with Merlin’s raggedy Converses scrambling all over his precious angel. Who was still creepy, by the way, even if it did seem to be solidly in place.

Merlin’s foot slipped as he started to climb the angel’s robes. He managed to right himself, but the higher he got, the harder his heart hammered in his chest. Clearly he wasn’t getting to the gym as much as he should. He determinedly avoided looking down at the ground or up at the angel’s face, so that left the cold, grim stone right in front of him.

Gwaine called up supposedly encouraging comments along the way. “I’ve got your favourite lube in the van. Bubblegum Blast!” he announced with embarrassing volume.

“Shut up! Do you want all the dead people and ghosts and whatever other creatures are here to know? Christ, Gwaine, how do you even know that?” Merlin ventured a glance down and saw a smug smile plastered all over Gwaine’s face. They’d never got past the blowjob stage despite Merlin drooling over Gwaine’s arse for months. Perhaps because Merlin wasn’t quite sure where he stood with Gwaine. The times they’d been together had been random and spontaneous, rather than dates planned in advance. As far as Merlin knew, that was all Gwaine wanted, but now he was beginning to wonder.

“Oh, I have my ways,” Gwaine said with a leer.

“You talked to Mordred, didn’t you?” Merlin’s chest bloomed with warmth at the thought that Gwaine had gone to the trouble of quizzing Merlin’s ex about his sexual preferences.

“Never you mind how I found out,” Gwaine said. “Maybe you just look like a guy who prefers bubblegum flavour.”

Merlin would rather not delve any further into that possibility. Anyway, discussing lube preferences while scaling Uther’s creepy angel gravestone was probably not the best strategy for pacifying his so-called ghost.

Then both Merlin’s feet slipped at the same time. He barely avoided falling by grabbing onto the angel’s arm. “Fuck!”

“You okay there, mate?” Gwaine called up, sounding anxious.

Merlin blew out a deep breath. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Just keep your mind on the beautiful combination of my arse and bubblegum.”

Merlin had to laugh at that. “Are you kidding? Too distracting. Do you actually want me to do this? Think of poor Percy.”

“Haha. Just saying, I’ll make it worth your while.”

Merlin looked up at the next few feet he had to climb and gritted his teeth. “Good.”

Just as Merlin was fetching the vial out of his pocket - no mean feat when you’re hanging by one hand off a creepy stone angel - he felt a whoosh of wind and an eerie whistling sound. What the fuck. “Gwaine, did you hear that?”

“Sure did. Just keep going. I think we need to get out of here.”

Another forceful gust knocked Merlin into the stone, stunning him. The tree branches above him were perfectly still. No sign of a breeze at all.

“Gwaine? Something weird’s going on here.” Merlin looked down, his heart in his throat.

“Hurry up and do it!” Gwaine yelled.

Another blast almost knocked him off the angel; he barely held on. Still, he could see nothing. He gripped the vial with a clammy hand.

“ _Merlin_ ,” a hushed whisper sounded near his ear, low and throaty.

It was a trick of the wind, surely. Yet ice crept through Merlin’s veins and the air crackled as if lit with electricity.

“ _Merlin_.” There it was again. “This is but the beginning.”

“Did you hear that, Gwaine?” Merlin yelled shakily.

“Hear what?”

Great. Only Merlin could hear it. He began to sweat despite the damp cold. Whatever it was, he had to act fast. Quickly, he pulled the stopper out of the vial with his teeth - thank god it wasn’t the twist-off kind. But before he could pour the liquid on the statute, the _thing_ shoved his arm so the vial went flying. The vial landed with a metallic clank on the ground and rolled underneath a bush.

_Fuck._

“Gwaine, the vial fell under that bush. I don’t know if I got the water on the statue or not.” Merlin called down.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get it and try to throw it up to you!” Gwaine replied, running over to the bushes to search for the vial.

Without warning, invisible hands grabbed onto Merlin’s shoulders and yanked hard. Merlin shrieked and clung to the cold stone with slippery fingers. He managed to hang on to the statue with one hand, but he was practically dangling in the air. “Gwaine, help!” he screamed, but Gwaine’s head was buried in the bushes and he didn’t hear.

Merlin managed to get both hands and feet back on the statue. He took a moment to recover his wits, then he looked up to see whether any of the holy water had made it onto the statue. To his relief, there was a darkened trail across the side of the angel’s face, spreading onto the back of its head.

Just as he was exulting in his success, his grip was jerked loose again. This time there was nothing but air under his feet; he was falling. “Gwaine!” he called. Oh Christ, this was it. In seconds, he’d end up just like the frog.

“Got ya!” Somehow, miraculously, Gwaine caught him. He landed in a pair of strong, capable arms and for just a moment, he was cradled against Gwaine’s chest, staring at a pair of lovely brown eyes. But his weight was too much, and they fell in a heap in the soft grass at the foot of the grave, Merlin on his back atop Gwaine like an upside down turtle, his arms and legs akimbo and waving in the air.

“Get off, you big sod, you’re crushing me,” Gwaine whined, pushing Merlin off so he rolled to Gwaine’s side. They both lay there laughing giddily, Gwaine’s arm lopped over Merlin’s waist.

“Oh my god. I can’t believe you caught me. Did you find the vial?”

“I can’t believe it either. You’re a lot heavier than you look, by the way.”

“It’s all those new muscles. The vial?” They still didn’t know if the holy water had done anything.

“I didn’t find it. I saw something shiny that might have been it, but you fell before I had a chance to check it out.”

Their attention was abruptly drawn back to the angel when a sizzling sound erupted from its head. Merlin watched in awe as sparks flew and the acrid smell of sulphur cut through the air.

“The water must have worked!” Gwaine said, gripping Merlin’s shoulder.

Merlin had joked about the angel being from Doctor Who, but to his horror, the joke seemed to be turning into reality. Very slowly, the angel moved its hands away from its face, then held its arms out in a welcoming motion, its mouth in a wide open ‘O’. The head turned up to the dark night sky and the sparks made a halo around its head. Above the bare trees, a white light appeared, long and shimmering like a comet, dashing through the black sky. It whooshed down into the angel’s head with a sound like a thunderclap. For an instant, a face hovered, superimposed over the angel’s. At first the features were indistinct, black smudges of eyes, nose and mouth. Then they coalesced and sharpened into a recognizable form.

It was somebody Merlin and Gwaine knew, but not the person they expected. Instead of the forbidding, aged countenance of Uther Pendragon, it was the handsome face of Lance du Lac. Lance was a friend of theirs who’d disappeared last year under mysterious circumstances. He was presumed drowned after he went skinny-dipping alone late one night at Blackbird Pond. His body, however, was never found. He’d been one of Merlin’s best friends, and his loss left an empty ache Merlin had never really gotten over.

Dread twisted in Merlin’s stomach and he broke out in a fresh wave of cold sweat. Lance! He stared in shock at the ghostly visage of his old friend, pale and iridescent atop the angel.

“Merlin!” Lance’s voice was recognizable, but sounded as if it were coming through a long tunnel. “You have released my soul from its prison in the underworld and now my murder must be avenged!”

_Underworld? Murder?_

“This is but the first step. The ghost of Uther still stalks the earth. He is the one you must destroy in order to restore balance to the universe.”

Merlin and Gwaine looked at other with wide eyes, aghast.

“Further instructions will be left. I must go now. The gap between the two worlds is closing.” Lance’s voice faded away with those last words and his face disappeared into the angel. The angel covered its face again and the sparks and light died down. Finally all was quiet and still.

Merlin slowly let go the breath he hadn’t even realised he was holding. He was shocked to see Lance’s face when he’d been expecting Uther. A fresh pang of loss shot through him.

Lance’s accusations of murder were bizarre and unsettling. Now there were even more questions than there had been earlier. Uther a murderer? How were they supposed to destroy Uther’s ghost now? The only instructions they had were from the crazy old lady Morgana and they’d already completed those. Where would the new instructions come from? And was there any way to get out of this?

“Wow,” Gwaine said.

“Yeah. Wow.”

They collapsed against Uther’s grave, stunned. Gwaine leaned his head against Merlin’s and Merlin mindlessly patted his hair, taking comfort in the physical closeness. His limbs were limp and exhausted yet his mind whirled, trying to make some sense of everything that had happened. There was so much to think about.

“Who is that woman, Morgana, who gave you those instructions?” Merlin asked.

“I don’t really know, but I want to find out more about her. It was Percy who found her, but it was all word of mouth, I think. Something tells me she knows more than she’s letting on about what happened to Lance. Can you believe what he said?”

“I don’t know what to think. It’s all incredible.” Merlin sighed. “I’m just glad we’re both safe.” Merlin pulled Gwaine into his arms and they held tightly onto each other for a moment. He pushed Gwaine’s hair out of his eyes and tucked it behind his ear.

“Come on.” Gwaine shook off Merlin’s arms and stood up, offering a hand to Merlin. “Time for your reward.”

Merlin looked at him with a cocked eyebrow. “You sure? I’m not sure now’s the time. Maybe we should just go for a stiff drink.”

“I can give you a couple of stiff things, har har, if that’s what you’re after, including a drink. The van is always fully stocked.”

Merlin laughed and took Gwaine’s hand, then looked up at the angel. It was perfectly at rest now, its anonymous face covered by stone fingers. “I miss Lance.”

“I know.” Gwaine squeezed his fingers. “Me too.”

“Did you ever think he could have been murdered?”

“Well, I thought it was awfully strange that they never found his body. Blackbird Pond isn’t that big.”

“Yeah,” Merlin said thoughtfully. “Guess we’ll have to look into this now.” Lance’s words were haunting him.

“We’ll talk about it later. Let’s get back to the Mystery Machine.”

“The Mystery Machine?”

“That’s what I’m calling the van since we seem to be in the business of solving ghostly mysteries now.”

“Just call us the Mystery Gang.”

“Right-o.” Gwaine snickered. “Who’s Scooby?”

“I think that would have to be Percy.”

“Does that make you Shaggy?”

Merlin swatted him. “Not exactly the image I’m going for.”

“Okay, okay.” Gwaine chuckled. “Seeing as I have the best hair, I guess I’m Daphne.”

“That sounds about right,” Merlin agreed. “You just need a purple dress and some high heels.”

“Er, I did mention that the van is completely outfitted, right?”

 

*

 

“Oh yeah,” Merlin breathed into Gwaine’s ear, just before sinking his teeth into the back of Gwaine’s neck and plunging in once again. His knees were digging into the shag carpeting and his head kept hitting the ceiling, but the feeling as his cock slid home into Gwaine’s delectable arse was searing hot pleasure. He groaned as he slid partially out again only to thrust himself in again to the hilt. Gwaine’s cock strained against Merlin’s hand, pre-come slicking everything, and his balls were drawn up tight and hard. “You’re so fucking hot,” Merlin said through clenched jaw.

The whole van smelled like bubblegum.

Gwaine half-laughed through his panting and shoved his arse up so Merlin impaled him even deeper. His head fell back down to the floor with a grunt. “Aw, Merlin, fuuuck, that’s iiiiiit.” Warm semen seeped through Merlin’s fingers, sending a fresh wave of desire straight to his cock.

Merlin gave a triumphant “ha!” at that and he thrust into Gwaine once again with vigour. This time it brought Merlin straight over the edge and he blissfully spilled his seed, sweet, exquisite pulses deep inside Gwaine. Then he collapsed on Gwaine’s back so they were both splayed on that ugly shag carpeting, legs tangled and messy fingers entwined.

For a few moments there was only the huff of their moist breath, chests moving in tandem. Merlin’s feet were actually halfway up the wall of the van, since honestly, there wasn’t enough room for two grown men to fuck. It made him feel like a giddy teenager doing it for the first time. There was even that nostalgic aroma of stale pot and spilled beer.

“Jesus, Merlin. Why didn’t we do that before?” Gwaine was stirring. A hand blindly reached for the clasp of the cooler and dug around in it for a bottle. “Here, open it,” Gwaine ordered Merlin.

“Why can’t you?”

“Can’t move. You’ve broken me.”

Merlin chuckled. “Alright.” He opened the bottle and took a cold, bracing swig. “Ah, tastes good.”

“Yeah, we’ve been working up a thirst, what with all that ghost hunting and celebratory fucking.” Gwaine pushed Merlin off so he could have a drink, and scooted up onto the pillows that filled one end the back of the van.

Merlin cuddled into his side, an arm around his waist. “Yeah, we should have done that a long time ago.” He was filled with warm, happy feelings and pleasantly sated in the libido department. It was quite a relief after the bizarre scene in the graveyard. Speaking of which... “I think we should both go talk to that Morgana woman.”

Gwaine dropped his head back and took another sip of beer. “Oh, that. Yep, makes sense. Let’s give it a couple of days. I need to wrap my head around all this.”

“Me too. I really didn’t think there was a ghost. I mean, come on. I am a man of science, after all.” He smiled up at Gwaine. “I was mainly in it for the blow job.”

“Just humouring me, eh?”

“I felt bad for Percy too. I thought it would make him feel better if we went through the motions.”

“I wonder what’s going to happen, if Uther will still bother Percy or if that had something to do with Lance. Oy, all this is making my head hurt.”

“Oh god, I didn’t think of that. Hmm. There’s a lot to think about.” He scooted himself up so his head was even with Gwaine’s. “Let’s make out instead. _And_ , you still owe me that blowjob.”

Gwaine’s face lit up. “I do, don’t I? Although technically, fucking was the reward. But who’s keeping track?”

Merlin leaned in closer and softly pressed his lips against Gwaine’s. “Not me.”


End file.
